Guilt and remorse.

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•What is Guilt?

Guilt is an awareness of having done wrong.

•A moral dilemma in correctness.

•Often accompanied by remorse and regret.

•A wish to correct wrong doing.

Experience of Guilt.

•Guilt focuses on behaviour of the child not the self.

•Guilt is less painful on self than shame.

•Guilt is an experience of tenseness, remorse and regret.

•Guilt is the wanting to put right the wrong. 

Guilt is externalisation of self.

Guilt is the concern; how it effects others due to self behaviour rather than the effects on self.

•Guilt is ones desire to own up (truth about behaviours), apologise (saying sorry) and amending the wrong doing (to make it better).

How do we tell we have Guilt not Shame?

•Guilt is defined when the sense of self remains intact and valued.

Does not blame, avoid or deny other for actions of self.

Is able to accept wrong doing and be remorseful (say sorry) and want to amend (make it better).

Can we learn guilt?

•Yes it can be learnt and felt….not over night and its not a quick fix… but it can be managed.

•For those in a Shame Blame cycle that cycle needs to be addressed first and then guilt and remorse will follow.

*Disclaimer. Please note Information and Information from first hand experience has been noted and collected over years and we apologise for any non referenced work or quotes. This is not intentional. Referencing may change as source information comes to light.

References:

Mrs J. Moore 2009

•Adoption UK 2009

•Banardos 2009