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Yes it is frustrating when your child does not show empathy, does not care how others feel, does not own their actions and does not feel any responsibility but blame others (shame blame cycle).
For many people Empathy is not there; they show sympathy but putting their view across, or to add their experience and story. Empathy means standing in the another persons story and feelings without adding your story or feelings.
Many parents don't show Empathy (it's sympathy) as their emotions are involved, it's their story and life that is impacted. To teach our children empathy we need to understand for them what it's like, their story, their feelings; without judgement, without criticism, without blame. (Modeling is important).
Empathy needs a degree of 'Theory of Mind' to look at another's view point. Empathy needs no blame or shame cycle living. Empathy needs to be taught to most people.
It's like a brick wall, with bricks and cement missing, it still stands, but the basic structure and foundation is not there. If you push it or the wind blows too hard it falls down, if you don't put in the original bricks you have to replace; but it's never as good as the original.
We have to work out a way of putting back the basic foundation by underpinning (re wiring and going back to basics)...
We need to complete the missing bricks to build the walls structure again but then continually do the rendering...
We just don't always have the time in our favour... But we do have support, patience, consistency and discipline to offer and empathy if it's been learnt.
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