Punishment and discipline.

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"Spare the rod, Spoil the child" 

This saying has always made me think. I never believed what people thought it meant and I realised the understanding of most people of this is simply incorrect. People assume and think of the Rod as a tool to hit with, to punish, like the cane. It comes from Proverbs chapter 13 verse 24.
He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes. (King James Version).

But when we look to Psalm chapter 23 verse 4 I will fear no evil,  for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. We see "Thy Rod and thy Staff they comfort me" this completely changes the meaning of the rod, it becomes clear that neither the Rod nor Staff should be feared. They are used for the positive not the negative as assumed by people in the words of Proverbs 13 v 24.

They are a source of direction and comfort. The rod, for a shepherd, was used to guide the sheep; it was not used to strike a sheep or beat a sheep. A sheep is very low to the ground and can be quick, it is awkward to bend over and guide one or few at the same time. The rod can be used as a temporary barrier or guide for the sheep to go around. Thus changing the path of the sheep to the desired one. With this thought the shepherd/ parent/ guardian changes from a Authoritarian person (threat and punishment) but to a Authoritative person (guidance in learning without threat) one that looks after his sheep with discipline not through punishment, punishing them. The staff is to lean on and to keep balance on uneven ground, life is an uneven ground and children use parents for support constantly leaning on then throughout childhood.

The way children learn is by getting it wrong, doing it again, it getting better maybe next time this alongside encouragement, guidance and understanding from their parents. Guidance of a child is constant, they need to be guided though with gentle nudges and the placing and re placing of these learning obstacles. Then a child is encouraged to proper or better their choices, they then can modify their behaviour, keeping themselves in check.  


This requires patience, repetition and endurance of the shepherd /the parent /the guardian. Discipline is not a quick fix, but it is how human people learn. So be the staff that they lean on for support or you use to help support them and use the rod to help keep them on the right track through guidance. 

Let's not beat our children any more.... But respectfully teach and guide. 

Forsyth. J. K. (2014) Spare the Rod, Spoil the Child.